Breaking the Bad Habit of Codependency
Often at the root of family addictions is at least one party who is the codependent person in the relationship, also known as the enabler. This person is the kind who would avoid mentioning an elephant standing in the middle of the room and talk about anything else but the animal. And although that sounds funny, it isn’t. In fact it’s sad, because most codependent people don’t even know they have this problem.
What happens is usually cyclical; i.e. probably in all likelihood happened when the codependent person was a child in a family with an addict or other abuser there. In order to survive, this person simply joined in the game, ignoring problems like addictions and abuse, hoping they’d go away and making them see much less than they were so they’d the pain the abusers caused would somehow be lessened inside – and out.
What needs to happen to break the bad habit of codependency are a couple of things:
Accept Responsibility and Take Charge
First own up to the fact if you are codependent. And then you need to take charge of the situation and heal, for yourself and your loved ones.
You deserve to be treated in a decent manner and not abused or used by an abuser. And your children also deserve the same rights and opportunities. So if you and your loved ones are not safe, get safe and get started on a recovery path now. Hesitating could mean serious trouble, so don’t delay. Seek help from local authorities and healthcare agencies as needed.
Get and Keep Getting Help
Draw up a list of people and groups where you can continue to seek help long term through your change in old, bad habits associated with codependency to keep handy at all times; like local authorities and healthcare providers. And include a list of people for your own support team together with these; they need to be healthy people for moral support and other types of support you may need: healthy friends (no abusers!), clergy, neighbors, family members who do not abuse or accuse but encourage, coworkers, etc.
When the going gets tough, reach out and seek help. It can be scary and dangerous going it alone, and you don’t need to if you just reach out.
A good therapist or support group can help you spot triggers that lead you to codependent actions like fighting with a drunken spouse instead of leaving the scene and taking loved ones with you to a safer, healthier environment. So find help and also journal your path of change, noting bad codependent habits along the way and how you can change them.
Tags: Bad Habit, Codependency